Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine. . . . --Ben
Jonson, To Celia
As
soon as I walked into the room, that man looked at me, immediately looked away
and never met my eyes during the interview. --Susan
House of Chicago, at a job interview in California ("I'm fat," House said
[Bennett 2001:D3])
Sign.
1. A visual connection made as one person gazes into the
eyes of another. 2. A highly emotional
link established as two people simultaneously observe each other's eyes.
Usage: Gazing at another's eyes arouses strong emotions. Thus, eye contact rarely lasts longer than
three seconds before one or both viewers experience a powerful urge to glance
away. Breaking eye contact lowers stress levels (as measured, e.g., by breathing
rate, heart rate, and sweaty palms).
Anatomy. The six muscles
that cooperate to move each of our eyeballs are ancient and common to all
vertebrates. The muscles' nerves link to unconscious as well as to thinking
parts of our brain. Levator palpebrae superioris, the
muscle that raises our upper eyelid, arose from superior rectus (one of
the six muscles that rotate the eyeball itself). Note that because their
connective tissue coats still are fused, we automatically lift our
eyelids when we look up.
Cops. What gives police officers
away in a roomful of people is their habit of looking too intently and too
carefully at others (Joe Navarro, FBI special agent, personal communication,
August 2001).
Culture I. In Japan, listeners are taught to focus on
a speaker's neck in order to avoid eye contact, while in the U.S., listeners are
encouraged to gaze into a speaker's eyes (Burgoon et al. 1989:194).
Culture II. After a talk, American speakers may look for raised hands to signal questions or comments. After speaking to Japanese listeners and seeing no hands, an American might assume the audience has little interest in responding. This assumption would be wrong. In Japan, one shows interest with "bright eyes" (the Japanese cultural cue) rather than with upraised hands (the American cue). Seeing bright eyes--emotionally responsive eye contact--a culturally aware speaker would then invite the listener to respond. (Source: Meyer, E. [September 14, 2014]. "Looking another culture in the eye." Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/14/jobs/looking-another-culture-in-the-eye.html. New York Times)
Espionage. "If someone should surprise you, stay calm. Look him right
in the eye--always maintain eye contact. That way you don't look shifty-eyed,
but, more important, all he will notice is your eyes." --CIA operative David
Forden to Colonel Ryszard Kuklinski (Chelminski 1999; see DECEPTION)
Garden party. "After the host
and the various guests embraced, they backed off and one or both always looked
away. [Anthropologist Adam] Kendon calls this the cut-off and thinks it may be
an equilibrium-maintaining device. Every relationship except a very new one has
its own customary level of intimacy and if a greeting is more intimate than the
relationship generally warrants, some kind of cut-off is needed afterward so
that everything can quickly get back to normal" (Davis 1971:46).
How
to accept criticism. "Look at the person criticizing you to show you are
paying attention (but don't stare or make faces [and do nod your
head to show you understand])" (Meisner
1998:106).
Literature. 1. "At last, her shot being all
expended, the child stood still and gazed at Hester with that little, laughing
image of a fiend peeping out--or, whether it peeped or no, her mother so
imagined it--from the unsearchable abyss of her black eyes." (Nathaniel
Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter [1850]) 2. ". . . the attentive eyes
whose glance stabbed." (Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim [1899]) 3. "He met
the eyes of the white man. The glance directed at him was not the fascinated
stare of the others. It was an act of intelligent volition." (Joseph Conrad,
Lord Jim [1899])
Nursery school. "The commonest response to
me on my first visit, and to people making rare visits to the nursery school, is
initially to stop and stare with no marked expression at the stranger. I find
that if I look back at a staring child or make any approach to it, it is likely
to look away or go away. But if I make no response the child stops staring and
often then brings some object to me and holds it out towards me at about the
level of its waist" (Blurton Jones 1967:353).
Primatology I. As
primates we show an extreme alertness to where others are looking. Though we
consciously control where our own eyes hover and land, eyes have "minds of their
own" as well. We feel compelled to look at objects and body parts which our
primate brain finds interesting (e.g., faces,
hands, and trees)--or
to gaze away from what it finds distasteful. In response to feelings of shyness,
submissiveness, and stranger
anxiety, an inner primate voice warns us to be careful and to
"watch where we look." In crowded elevators, e.g., our eyes cannot roam freely
across another's faces (as they can, e.g., freely watch media
faces pictured in magazines and shown on TV).
Primatology II.
1. "Thus, one interpretation of avoiding visual contact--which has been
described in rhesus, baboons, bonnet macaques, [and] gorillas--is that it is a
means of avoiding interactions" (Altmann 1967:332). 2. "Facial
expressions observed in threatening animals [wild baboons] consist of 'staring,'
sometimes accompanied by a quick jerking of the head down and then up, in the
direction of the opponent, flattening of the ears against the head, and a
pronounced raising of the eyebrows with a rapid blinking of the pale eyelids"
(Hall and DeVore 1972:169).
U.S. politics. "'I looked the man in
the eye. I found him to be very straight-forward and trustworthy,' [President
George] Bush said of the former KGB agent [Russian leader Vladimir Putin]
standing by his side. 'We had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of
his soul'" (Condon 2001:A1).
RESEARCH
REPORTS: 1. We generally begin an
utterance by looking away and end it by looking back at the
listener. While speaking, we alternate between gazing at and gazing
away (Nielsen 1962, Argyle and Dean 1965, Kendon 1967). 2.
There is more direct gaze when people like each other and
cooperate (Argyle and Dean 1965). 3. People make
less eye contact when they dislike each other or
disagree (Argyle and Dean 1965). 4. In primates, the
unwavering gaze evolved as a sign of dominance and threat
(Blurton Jones 1967, Eibl-Eibesfeldt 1975), while gaze avoidance originated as a
submissive cue (Altmann 1967). 5. "The [Bushmen] children often
used to stare at each other until finally one gave up, by averting the eyes, lowering
the head and pouting" (Eibl-Eibesfeldt 1975:184). 6. "When the
subjects gazed at the interviewer's eyes, the hand self-manipulations of the subjects increased, reflecting
the upsetting effects of monitoring the interviewer's face during interaction"
(Bod and Komai 1976:1276). 7. Direct gaze (along with
forward body and smiling) is a trustworthy sign of good feeling
between new acquaintances (Palmer and Simmons 1995:156).
Neuro-notes. Feelings of dominance, submission, liking, and disliking pass from the limbic system and basal ganglia to the midbrain's oculomotor (cranial III), trochlear (IV), and abducens (VI) nerves (see AMPHIBIAN BRAIN). Acting in concert, these nerves lead our eye muscles to pull together in downward or sideward movements, depending on mood. Thus, e.g., submissive and aversive feelings move our eyes subcortically through paleocircuits established long ago in vision centers of the midbrain.
See also EYE-BLINK, CLEM, GAZE-DOWN, LOVE SIGNALS III.
YouTube Video: Make eye contact with the person in this video.Copyright
1998 - 2020 (David B. Givens/Center for Nonverbal Studies)
Top: Cary Grant giving and receiving eye-contact from Joan Fontaine in the 1941 movie Suspicion (picture credit: RKO, copyright 1941). Bottom: Photo of Gorilla gorilla and Homo sapiens eyes (note the prominent white of the human eye around the iris, which may have evolved to enhance readability of gaze direction; copyright 2004 by DK Publishing, Inc.)